Shagwrath

Shagwrath: "Ah, Ghost Town! A place where the spirits of the past dance beneath the pale moonlight. Tonight, we shall unearth the treasures that lie buried beneath the sands of time!"

With a devilish grin, Shagwrath navigated the winding roads of the ghostly town, his eyes scanning the shadows for signs of hidden tombs and forgotten graves. As he arrived at the desolate cemetery, a chill ran down his spine, but he pressed onward, his resolve unshaken by the eerie atmosphere.

Shagwrath: "To the graveyards, my faithful accomplices! Tonight, we shall be the architects of our own destiny!"

With shovel in hand and determination in his heart, Shagwrath led his band of merry grave robbers into the heart of the cemetery, their footsteps echoing through the silent streets like a macabre symphony. As they delved deeper into the earth, each shovel of dirt brought them closer to their prize, the anticipation building with each passing moment.

Suddenly, a rustling in the bushes broke the silence, sending a shiver down Shagwrath's spine. But he stood firm, his resolve unyielding in the face of uncertainty. With a quick glance at his comrades, he signaled for them to proceed, their eyes alight with the thrill of the hunt.

With practiced hands and unwavering determination, they unearthed the treasures of the past, their spoils gleaming in the moonlight like precious jewels. As they loaded their bounty into the waiting DFT, Shagwrath couldn't help but smile, his heart brimming with the joy of victory.

Shagwrath: "Another successful expedition, my friends! To Helvete, where our spoils shall become the stuff of legend!"

With that, they embarked on the journey back to Helvete, their hearts full of triumph and their minds ablaze with the promise of future adventures. And as they disappeared into the night, the echoes of their laughter mingled with the whispering winds, a testament to the indomitable spirit of those who dare to defy the darkness and embrace the thrill of the unknown.

Shagwrath: "Linkan, my faithful comrade, tonight we shall reap the bounty of the earth and fill our larders with the choicest cuts!"

Linkan: "Aye, Shagwrath! Let us dig deep and unearth the treasures that lie beneath."

With determined hands, they set to work, their shovels biting into the soil with a satisfying crunch. But as they delved deeper into the earth, their clandestine mission was suddenly interrupted by the unwelcome arrival of a lone police officer, his flashlight cutting through the darkness like a beacon of justice.

Officer: "Halt! What are you two doing out here in the dead of night?"

Shagwrath exchanged a knowing glance with Linkan, his mind racing with possibilities. With a swift and decisive motion, he lunged forward, disarming the officer and rendering him incapacitated with a well-placed blow.

Shagwrath: "Quickly, Linkan! We must act fast before reinforcements arrive!"

Together, they bound the officer with makeshift restraints, silencing his protests with a gentle pat on the head. With the officer securely restrained, they hoisted him into their Hotdog-shaped van, its familiar contours offering solace in their time of need.

Shagwrath: "To safety, my friend! Our feast awaits, and nothing shall stand in our way!"

With a roar of the engine, they sped off into the night, leaving behind the graveyard and its secrets buried once more beneath the desert sands. And as they disappeared into the darkness, the echoes of their laughter mingled with the howling winds, a testament to the indomitable spirit of those who dare to defy convention and embrace the forbidden.

Right after our Morgue run we decided to deliver a little prank. Time to paint the LS pizza spawn Helvete colors again.


Hauling ass to get there fast, this should be a good laugh.


Three in a line we make quick time to the carshop down the line.


Eagerly we await to inflict our silly green fate upon the vehicles in wait.


Two this time but still in a line we make great haste to go back to the same place.


Ah, what a sight to see, the vehicles all green now we drive them back and we can have our laugh.


Truly, comedy at its peak, the pink versions reeked. An offense to the senses now less apprehensive.


Once again, our work here is done, but I'm sure we'll be back again soon for some low-grade fun.


Are you sick of my rhymes yet?

The password is 'Everyone is Ken'

We loaded up into our trusty ice cream van, the freezer serve the dual purpose of brining tasty treats to the people of San Andreas, and of course, storing the body parts of our dismembered victims.


We really need to invest in some sort of weapon storage, or actually remember to store our weapons. We head off to AmmuNation to get some shovels. 


Is this the right way? Uhh... I swear I've driven before. Where the hell is it?

Found it, despite my failed attempts at channeling the spirit of a carrier pidgeon.


I sear it looks like we're dancing, but I promise it's just our corpse cardio. Need to stay flexible and limber when you're raiding graves, don't want to pull a muscle!


Heading out of LV, the sand blows across the desolate streets as we head deeper into the countryside, nearing our prize.


We talk about the big plans we have for Helvete. Our business grows every day as we acquire more properties and customers. Soon we will be the biggest name in fast food, and we will have these times to look back on fondly.


I am thankful for my team, the dark lord has assembled for me, dedicated, morbid and wicked fellows, my kind of people. The do these tasks without a second thought, because they are dedicated just as I am to make Helvete a household name again.


Here we are at last, time to get to work, these corpses won't dig themselves.


Nohr has picked out a good first pick, Yuu inspects the gravestone... for freshness.


A little bit of stretches before I dig in, don't want to wake up tomorrow stiff as a corpse... wait that's not exactly right.


Exhumed to Consume


Nohr seeks guidance from the dark lord, channeling his spirt to guide the blade of his shovel.


Digging up some freshnesh for you all.


So many corpses, so little time.


A couple more then we are good to go, we try a couple different methods of extraction, keep on increasing our graverobbing efficiency.


Oh wow, this is a heavy one, the bigger the better though. Holy cow oof.


Back to the restaurant for 'processing'


We unload the bodies carefully, and I apparently summoned the spirit of the dark lord and made myself invisible for the next couple of frames.


Helvete glady loads up on corpse to take inside.


One by one the pile of bodies decreases and our supply increases.


You can't see if nut they're totally holding corspes and stuff, they're probably all dirty and covered with flies and stuff too. Metal.


The smell might be a little too much for some, tuk tuk Yuu, you're the vice leader, if you can't handle a little stink then what the hell are you going to do when we train @Soul


Inside we start to unload the food in the back, away from the eyes of the unknowing counter jockey into the cold depth of the deep freeze.

We ask the dark lord to bless the food and infest it with the power of darkness.

And of course, we get a little compensation too besides our various forms of morbid enjoyment.


Don't say a word Steve... we're watching you. Make sure if you saw anything that you UNsaw it really quickly. There's always room for one more in the freezer.


A job well done, we head out in route to our next desecration.

Ignore the vehicle change. Damn vehicle respawns.

Thanks for reading this! The password is 'Everyone is Ken'

The morgue was cleaned out, not a lot of action, but then again, not a lot of customers so no harm no foul. But what can I do to pass the time? Maybe its time for a little prank.

One by one I took all the pizza boys and the Mr. Whoppee to the TransFender to get them resprayed in Helvete colors. Hoping like hell it will aggravate Kopernik since they don't have their own vehicles.


It's a small price to pay for a good joke, even if no one will even notice. It didn't take too long but I had to admire my own commitment to the joke, not to too my own horn.


Hilarious, if I do say so myself.

Almost done, I must say every vehicle looks so much better in our stunning shade of jade. Hopefully the colors last longer than a day.


Perfect, done! the screenshot made it all worth it. Thank you for indulging me in my stupidity. until next time!

Still reeling with our previous kidnapping failure we decided to instead put our efforts back into the business for the night. It is time for a spice resupply,


We turn down the alley we know all too well and flash our lights as we do, the signal is simple but it get's the job done.


We pull in the back, all the way in the back, and shut off our engine and wait. He knows we are here, and will find us.


Our contact appears, punctual and prompt as always. The lines in his face deep and numerous making him look both wise and evil, exactly the skillset we need.


The new recruit looks nervous, he's seen a lot in just one day, but he's doing well, holding his ground and absorbing. Good, he will do well.


We discuss the quantities needed, confirming the order we had already placed previous. Ensuring the quality was still up to our standards and eagerly anticipating the trade.


The dark seller wants his payment, which we gladly relinquish. Ensuring the total amount is all accounted for, I place the cash into his old wrinkled hand. My skin crawls as he gives me an evil toothy smile and tells us to wait.


The man retreats, and we wait in anxious silence. I kill people and eat them recreationally, and laugh most of the time doing it, but man, this guy, makes my freakin skin crawl. Who or whatever he is though, he product is the best, and I will keep coming back for more, even if I'm not sure if this is exactly safe.


Maybe a little headbanging will sooth the anxiety.


We inspect the product, he shows me the quality and explains its best uses, both arcane and mundane. I must say this man is a really good salesman, so there is a good chance this is actually satan himself.


I'm sure I haven't sold my soul but it still feels like I am making a deal with the devil everytime.


We praise the dark lord and a good sale, hail Helvete.

Before we knew it the man had disappeared, leaving only the eerie silence of the dark alley and the creeping feeling that always remains. We quickly got back into the van and headed back to LV.

We thought we planned it so well, with our new recruit and hopes high we bust into CLO base blaring Ice Cream music and our sights set on Groove.


We offered tasty ice cream treats to him and he couldn't resist and eagerly ran onto the van! Wow, almost too easy, he must not know Helvete's twist now that we're in the food business, but all the better for us! This must be where we got cocky, maybe we were even the ones falling into his trap, in hindsight.

We sped off to Bone County to one of our locations, this one a particular favorite for... 'acquisition of goods'. We though everything was going according to plan as we led our captive inside, we didn't speak a word of our ill intent the entire ride instead making conversation to put him at ease.
What is your favorite kind of ice cream? Have you ever thought of becoming ice cream? If you were to become ice cream, what flavor would you want to be? Hmm... maybe that wasn't subtle enough.


Eagerly he waddled into the restaurant, where the plot would twist, little known to us. He did pop me in the mouth when I called him fatty, but you know what, I deserved that. It's 2024 you can't be fat shaming after dropping n-bombs.

But this is when we revealed our dark intent, and perhaps, doomed us then and there. As we revealed in our victims helplessness we had no idea his rescue had been following and watching us, waiting for the right moment to launch their attack.


As we moved in for the kill, the doors behind us burst open and in a huge flash and then a band we had been completely annihilated by a rocket launcher.


It was so fast and we were all so surprised and shocked at being bested that we took our humble pie and ate it.


We'll get you next time Groove!

Fenix, a new an promising recruit showed up to our secret location, guided by dark forces he knew the way and passed the first test of the dark lord's approval. This one must be special, sent to us by his infernal majesty.

It was a sign, of dark design, he was to be the next Helvete and more than just another number to add to the ranks of our dark army, this one will learn the ways of roleplay and help us revive it's dying art.

Hail be to the dark lord, and hail be to Helvete. Fenix eagerly accepts his oath and vows to serve at Satan's side.


We cannot wait to put the rest of you on a plate. Let us have you for dinner real soon.