If you bother to read this, I haven't taken the proper time informing you all of the fact that I'm inactive.
I've wanted to clear some things out for you, and tell my story if you'd like to read it.
Well here we go then:
A couple of months ago one of my best friends (Knew him from the age of 4) and well known part of this community lost his life in a car accident (Faker, Lively, Roy, LEFT in what way you knew him). I've promised myself that I would take full charge of SEALs even though I'd knew it would be a hard task since Faker always was a leader, for me but most of all for the squads/gangs we've created in the time playing on this great server. I was trying to take SEALs to Level 2 since that was Faker his dream to finally achieve to be the Leader of a official squad with spawn. I had great and lovely people aside me to assist me with this task I put myself up with (Alexie and Starwars, and all members of SEALs) and also general players on the server who wanted to help me out. I've always found it difficult to accept help of others, since I'm raised pretty independent and wanted to take care of things on my own.
Unfortunately this in combination of the Friend I missed (Still miss every day) took too much on my mental state and went in a depression.
I've contacted my grandmother who was a psychologist a while back and mainly took care of people who lost someone. She tried helping me out while I was still playing on SAES, then she asked what things reminded me of him and SAES was the first thing that popped up, and told her that I still played it on a daily bases. After some conversations and light-therapy she thought it would be a good idea to try decreasing the frequency of playing on SAES since it opens the wounds every time I played.
So I did as I was told and quit SAES. After a while I had the feeling that things were getting better for me, The things I loved to do before were actually fun again and started to be more happy. This is my current mental state, I've figured out that SAES isn't fun for me anymore without Faker. He brought the game to life and made the game the best for me. Over all I've decided to continue without playing on the server, but I might come back on the forums since I still love the community and his jokes etc.
First of all thanks to all of you who wanted to help me and took time for me / SEALs and thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope that I've informed you enough, for any questions you might have, feel free to contact me thru PM.
(Don't mind my English, didn't got to speak/write English in a while)
Alliances / Aaran.